IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that government should provide benefits to unemployed people, others believe the opposite. State your opinion

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A number of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide financial
aid
Use synonyms
 to unemployed
individuals
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 should not receive
such
Linking Words
 assistance. I strongly believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide support
those
Change preposition
to those
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are unemployed because
such
Linking Words
 assistance protects citizens from financial hardship and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to a healthier economy. One of the main reasons why
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should offer unemployment benefits is that they help
people
Use synonyms
 meet their basic needs during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult periods.
Lossing
Use the right word
Losing
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 can have challenging financial
consequence
Check wording
consequences
show examples
, especially for
individuals
Use synonyms
 who have their family to support. Without a stable source of
income
Add a comma
income,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 may struggle to pay for food, education, healthcare and other necessities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, unemployment
often
Verb problem
is often
show examples
 caused by factors beyond a person’s control,
such
Linking Words
 as economic recessions, technological changes or company
bankrupts
Replace the word
bankruptcies
. In these situations, it is unfair to expect
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 to survive without any
aid
Use synonyms
. Another important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 unemployment benefits is that they enable
people
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 to search
Use synonyms
job
Change preposition
for job
show examples
 opportunities which match their
skills
Use synonyms
 and knowledge rather than accepting the first
job
Use synonyms
 offer. If
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
 faces several financial problems, they
maybe
Verb problem
may be
show examples
 forced to join the low paying
job
Use synonyms
 or
unsuitable
Correct article usage
an unsuitable
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 which did not match their
skills
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
skill
Check wording
skills
show examples
 and qualifications may be
underutilized
Change the spelling
underutilised
show examples
. By receiving temporary financial
aid
Use synonyms
, unemployed worker can dedicate
time
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 to finding
position
Correct article usage
a position
show examples
 that
match
Correct subject-verb agreement
matches
show examples
 their experience.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they have
time
Use synonyms
 to develop their
skills
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is essential for a
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, skilled
worker
Check wording
workers
show examples
 can contribute to their economy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
have
Correct word order
also have
show examples
also
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to prove their
skills
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide benefits to unemployed
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
aid
Use synonyms
 protects
people
Use synonyms
 from financial hardship, allows them to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable jobs and get
time
Use synonyms
 to
Improve
Fix capitalization
improve
show examples
 their
skills
Use synonyms
in a
Change preposition
under
show examples
 limited
time
Use synonyms
 pressure.

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task response
Give one clear answer in the first part and keep it strong in all body parts.
task response
Add one real and clear example to support your main idea.
task response
Explain each main point a bit more so the reader can see how and why it is true.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one and avoid sudden jumps.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most main points support your opinion well.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social safety net
  • Economic stability
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Financial security
  • Economic downturn
  • Poverty
  • Stimulate the economy
  • Job seeking
  • Dependency culture
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Government expenditure
  • Labor market
  • Fraud
  • Welfare abuse
  • Quality of life
  • Budget constraints
  • Economic strain
  • Public funds
  • Employment incentives
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