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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, the amount of household waste produced by people has increased significantly. What are the main causes of this problem, and what solutions can be suggested to reduce household waste?

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In
this
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 modern era,
household
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waste
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 produced by
people
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 is increasing at an alarming rate.
This
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 essay will discuss the primary causes for
this
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 trend and propose several practical solutions to mitigate
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, there are compelling reasons why
waste
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production
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 in households is increasing day by day.
Firstly
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, modernisation is a prime reason for
this
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 trend because modern lifestyles encourage
people
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 to engage in impulsive shopping,
along with
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 an unrealistic list of personal and professional demands.
This
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 is not only expensive and time-consuming, but
also
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 contributes to an increase in
theproduction
Correct your spelling
the production
 of
household
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waste
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.
For example
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, in many countries, it is seen that the percentage of shopping has increased equally when compared to the
waste
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production
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 in the
household
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.
Consequently
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,
people
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 tend to produce more
waste
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 at home when they buy unnecessary things from the market.
Moreover
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,the trend of repairing objects is vanishing at an alarming rate.
Due to
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 modernisation,
people
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 believe that repair is an old-fashioned method of using an object for a longer period of time.
However
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,
this
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 traditional method of repairing things has saved money and
household
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waste
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production
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 for many years.
Although
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 repair is a better option than replacement, it is still outdated and is becoming one of the prime reasons for increased
production
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 of
household
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waste
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.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous solutions to mitigate
this
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 problem. First and foremost,
thegovernment
Correct your spelling
the government
 should enforce stricter rules and regulations to minimise
household
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waste
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production
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. The government should fix a limit on daily
waste
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production
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 for each
household
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,
along with
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 a fine imposition on the
people
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 who cross that limit.
Nevertheless
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, the schools and the society should together encourage
people
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 for recycling. Repairing should
also
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 be encouraged by the government, which could eventually lower the shopping rates and
further
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Use synonyms
household
Verb problem
reduce household
show examples
waste
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production
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.
To conclude
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, modernisation is one of the prime reasons for excessive
household
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waste
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production
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.
However
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, mutual efforts by the government and society can easily mitigate
this
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 problem.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more equal way. Your causes are a bit stronger than your solutions.
task response
Give one or two more clear and real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few points are too general. Explain them a little more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. A few are repeated too much, like 'modernisation' and 'household waste production'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and heavy. Shorter sentences can make your meaning easier to follow.
task response
You answered the question and talked about both causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are easy to find in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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