IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and 2003.

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The pie charts provide the breakdown
about
Change preposition
of
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 the age of travellers from the UK to Spain
:
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in 1983 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the 35-54 aged visitors dominated in both years despite decreasing after two
decade
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decades
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. Notably, from 0-15years to 16-24 aged
tourists
Use synonyms
 increased
while
Linking Words
 25-34 aged ones comprise decreasin at the rest of the period. In 1983,
traveling
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travelling
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 to Spain was popular among
35-54 aged people
Correct word order
people aged 35- 54
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. It represented the half
propotion
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proportion
 of
tourists
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 when a mere percentage
in
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of
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 16-24 aged travellers, 50% and 4% respectively. As for 16-24 aged
tourists
Use synonyms
, their level
comprise
Correct subject-verb agreement
comprises
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 twice
more
Correct determiner usage
as many
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 (20%)
than
Correct word choice
as
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 0-15 aged visitors (10%). In 2003,
however
Linking Words
, the gap between rates experienced a considerable change. The huge percentage of
tourist
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tourists
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 constituted between 35-54 years
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 decreased from 50% to 35%.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, 25-34 aged travellers declined by 8%
while
Linking Words
th
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the
 16-24 years old
tourists
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slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 increased to 12%. Before increasing by 10%
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 level of 55+ aged
visitor
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visitors
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 was only 16%,
such
Linking Words
rising
Replace the word
a rise
 was experienced in 16-24 aged
tourists
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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