Some people think that children are having to much free time and this time should be use to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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The world has changed greatly in

the

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apply

show examples

recent years,

this

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includesmany

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includes many

aspects of life

including

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, including

show examples

education.

However

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, there are many individuals who still have the traditional mentality and think that the free

time

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of children should be invested in more studying. I completely

dissagree

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disagree

with those people for several reasons.

This

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essay will examine my point of view. First of all, education is not just about subjects like science and

lettreture

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literature

, it

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also

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is also

show examples

about gaining certain skills, which are required to

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apply

show examples

create a successful generation.

For instance

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, encouraging

childeren

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children

to join a football team

insted

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instead

of doing extra studies in their free

time

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will enhance their personalities and help them to

bulid

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build

up many skills.

For example

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, working in a team and being an active member in that team.

Such

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skills can not be obtained from

studing

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studying

In addition

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, studying in their free

time

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may not give children the opportunity to be

exopsed

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exposed

to sufficient physical activities.

Such

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activities are crucial for their general health and are necessary for the blood circulation to their brains, which

inturn

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in turn

will definitely enhance their chances of obtaining excellent

resaults

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results

Also

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practicing

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practising

show examples

some kind of sports can enable them to make new

frends

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friends

. They will be

tought

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taught

how to make friends and build strong relationships with other people. In conclusion, the educational process is essential for

children

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children's

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future.

However

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, enjoying other activities in their spare

time

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is important to be physically,mentally and socially healthy.

Ali

Jun 28, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Make your main idea more clear in each body part.

coherence cohesion

Use full stops more carefully. Some long lines should be split into two sentences.

coherence cohesion

Add a clearer topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph.

task achievement

Answer the question more directly by saying why you fully disagree in a more exact way.

task achievement

Give one more specific example to support your second main point.

task achievement

Develop each idea a little more so the reader can see your point more easily.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Your ideas mostly stay on the topic of children, free time, and study.

task achievement

You give examples about sports, team work, health, and friends.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

241 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental effects
mental well-being
life skills
communication
teamwork
empathy
physical development
sedentary lifestyle
unstructured play
cognitive development
academic performance
fatigue
motivation
quality over quantity
work-life balance
time management
well-rounded personality

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Your next-door neighbor likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter to the neighbor. In your letter describe the situation explain the problems it is causing you offer at least one solution

As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?