IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is alot of concerns about the topic of
young
Correct word choice
juvenile
show examples
 crimes in numerous cities that gradually
rised
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 in
the
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
last
Linking Words
 years and has been a considerable debate.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the problems and provide solutions.   One of the primary reasons
led
Correct pronoun usage
that led
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
 problem, lack of parent monitoring or family issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2011,
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
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 at
london
Capitalize the proper name
London
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 colleges witnessed a massive surge and when they watched the adolescent they found that 50% of
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 came from the absence of the mother and the father.
it's
Capitalize the word
It's
show examples
 imperative to
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
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 that family has a massive impact on their kids. Toxic friends
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
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 be one of the main reasons. To illustrate,
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 contagion
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
tend
Replace the word
the tendency
 to adopt the habits of their communities and the people around them.

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task response
Answer both parts fully: say why youth crime goes up, and give clear ways to fix it.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear end paragraph that sums up your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph, then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Make your ideas more clear and full. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
You stay on the topic and give real reasons for youth crime.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction shows the subject of the essay.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
What to do next:
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