IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two plans illustrate how the ground floor of a museum changed between 1990 and 2010.

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The plan shows the arrangement of the first floor of a building in two different years: 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ground floor of the museum has undergone a few changes over the past 20 years.
Firstly
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,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 we look at the top of the plan from 2010, in the western
area
Use synonyms
, we see that the Gift Shop was extended, and it included a Café, which was expanded into one. The statue next to the stairs was replaced in the central part.
Then
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, another noticeable change below The Café and gift shop is the lift; compared to 1990, which was not there before.
Next,
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the Natural History Room remained in the same place.
Moreover
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, both in 1990 and in 2010, the same as the Museum office at the bottom in the corner.
Furthermore
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, if we take a look at the Entrance, we can see that it was extended in 2010 compared to 1990, and the Reception counter was enlarged and separated from the Museum office.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if we look at the first plan in the eastern part, we see an expanded Archaeology gallery
area
Use synonyms
, but in 2010,
this
Linking Words
 place was divided into different locations:
Children’s
Correct article usage
the Children’s
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 Interactive zone and
Poster
Correct article usage
the Poster
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 display
area
Use synonyms
. The Local history room in the bottom corner stayed the same, except that it has access to the main
area
Use synonyms
 compared to 1990.

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task response
Write one clear overview with the main changes only.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same place words all the time, like west, east, top, and bottom.
task response
Do not mix 'ground floor' and 'first floor'. Choose one and keep it.
coherence and cohesion
Group changes better: left side, center, and right side.
task response
Add a few more direct comparisons between 1990 and 2010.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentences shorter to make the order of ideas easier to follow.
task response
You give an overview of the changes.
task response
You mention many key parts of the plan.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph breaks.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like firstly, moreover, and secondly.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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