According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average “holiday” is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want excitement on their holidays and keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree

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It is safe to say that some people
travel
Use synonyms
for adventure and doing different things
,
Punctuation problem
.
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There is
also
Linking Words
the kind of crowd that loves to relax and
going
Wrong verb form
go
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for a swim, or
going
Wrong verb form
go
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to the spa
, every
Punctuation problem
. Every
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person has
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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own kind of vication, for me i am leaning towards a more
threaling
Correct your spelling
thrilling
travel
Use synonyms
. First of all, The joy of
travel
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is doing new things, or seeing new things, to be more clear, you did not
travel
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for the same routine that you have home, new experiment means new meomories, for instants i went to Thailand
last
Linking Words
year and I tried stuff i never tried before
such
Linking Words
as pike riding and driving a boat, I
also
Linking Words
have a plane to go hiking in Scotland, and there is tons of different trips that you can do, you can see cultures that are unique, you can visit different continants, these the adventures that you would remember for the rest of your life, and your going to tell your grand kids about them
Secondly
Linking Words
, traveling to relax i get , some times work and life in general push you so hard that you just want to chell at the beach, going on a calmly vacation is good for married couple,
for example
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altho I love adventures but when i go on a honeymoon I want to relax with my wife and get to chat with her more. In the
end
Add a comma
end,
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each person has
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
own way of traveling, some loves exitement , and some like to relax and
enjoing
Correct your spelling
enjoy
the peace
, as
Punctuation problem
. As
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far as
i
Fix capitalization
I
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am consern i agree with the statement that says an average
hoiday
Correct your spelling
holiday
is changing

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say clearly that you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Keep your main idea the same all through the essay. Now you say both sides, so your view is not fully clear.
task response
Add one more clear reason for your view and explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. Some long sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part about one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check word form and sentence form because some parts make the meaning less clear.
task response
You answer the topic and give your own view.
task response
You use real examples like Thailand and Scotland.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a beginning, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Words like first, secondly, and in the end help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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