Some people believe that money makes life easier and more comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

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A lot of

people

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think having a huge amount of

money

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can make their lives easier and happier, but it is prone to thieves and bad

people

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. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the positive side of having a lot of

money

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and the consequences of it.

To begin

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with, having

money

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can do a lot of things; there was a saying that

money

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rules the world.

Therefore

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, if you come from a wealthy family, you will not have to worry about your life.

For instance

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, you can go to private schools where you can study and enjoy your youth, and your future is already secured.

Furthermore

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people

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with wealth can buy the things they want, including a house,

car

Correct article usage

a car

show examples

, and

traveling

Wrong verb form

travel

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to different countries.

Then

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, they can

also

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have good connections where they can learn and improve their knowledge when it comes to finances.

Lastly

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, they have less stress and anxiety because everything will work out easily, and they can experience the goodness of life.

On the other hand

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, there is a risky side to it. It tends that most of the time, rich

people

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can be targeted by thieves and bad guys.

As a result

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, they are not easily approached and very picky when it comes to friends

they

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; they

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try to protect themselves.

Also

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, sometimes they may feel lonely because finding genuine friends is hard

most

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; most

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of the

people

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who come to them just want something or

just

Verb problem

are just

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taking advantage.

To conclude

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, the advantages are more than the disadvantages. Apparently, having

money

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can make a comfortable life and enjoy the things you want.

chesleykerserarellano

Jun 30, 2026

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task response

Answer the main question more clearly. Say why the good side is stronger than the bad side in each body part, not only at the end.

task response

Add one or two more clear examples. Your private school example is good, but the bad side also needs a real example.

task response

Explain ideas more fully. Some points are listed, but not all are developed enough.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and as a result.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid putting too many ideas in one paragraph. Group similar ideas together.

task response

You answered both sides of the topic and gave your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

The ideas are easy to follow in most parts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Quality of life
Social isolation
Philanthropy
Wealth management
Material possessions
Economic stability
Opportunities
Excessive wealth
Exploitative relationships

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Some people believe that money makes life easier and more comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is this happening? What can be done to solve this issue?

You wish to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to the university. In your letter you should ask about: the accommodation and fees possible scholarships and the qualifications required for acceptance.

Some people like to eat in restaurants and at foodstands, others like to eat at home. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your choice.