IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Is it wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young individuals who have less experience? Give your views in not less than 250 words. Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Some people harbour a belief that young
workers
Use synonyms
 can replace old but experienced
workers
Use synonyms
, whilst others hold a reverse point of view. I am inclined to stand with the opponents , as experienced
workers
Use synonyms
 have their value in supporting the growth of an industry.
This
Linking Words
 essay will dive into both sides in a comprehensive manner before explaining my own opinion.
Initially
Linking Words
, one of the main arguments in favour of replacing experienced but old employees with young ones is that new employees will bring about new thoughts and creativity. As long as people get used to their job, they may be stuck in repetitive cycles, which can be harmful to the improvement of an industry. Especially for the elderly
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 are more likely to lack productivity and efficiency. These features may put old
workers
Use synonyms
 at risk. At the other end of the spectrum, the experiences that old
workers
Use synonyms
 have are irreplaceable. What they learned from the past can be their advantage in helping enterprises overcome challenges.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is vital that companies offer opportunities for the two generations to collaborate and create a respectful and effective work environment.
Although
Linking Words
 hiring young employees is inevitable in terms of industrial growth, the contribution from the old ones cannot be ignored. In conclusion, despite the fact that age is a weakness of experienced
workers
Use synonyms
, the valuable knowledge they gained from their previous experiences can be applied to support future growth.
Hence
Linking Words
, companies should integrate the merits of both the old and young generations to create sustainable success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add one real or clear example to support your view.
task response
Explain your main idea more fully in each body paragraph.
task response
Answer the question more directly from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully and make each idea flow to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each paragraph with one main point and clear support.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid short or general statements that stop the flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is clear and stays mostly the same through the essay.
task response
You compare both sides before giving your final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: