Holding international games such as olympics is an exciting event. Some think it has positive effect, while others argue it is a waste of money. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Olympic is one of the
renowed
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renowned
games, which has a long tradition, and
continued playing
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continues to be played
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till now. Holding global sporting extravaganzas
such
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as the Olympic Games is undoubtedly a thrilling
experiance
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experience
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for the
host
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nation.
While
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some believe that
such
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events bring numerous benefits, others feel that they are simply an exorbitant expenditure with little long-term value.
This
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essay will outline both perspectives before presenting my own opinion, which leans towards the view that advantages outweigh the drawbacks, provided the investment is well planned. To commence with, participating in the Olympics and hosting the event is an immense honour for an individual and a nation. In some
aspect
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aspects
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, holding the Olympics gives national pride and unity across the globe. When a country hosts the
game
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participants from across diverse
background
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backgrounds
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set aside their differences and unite for the
game
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. Watching athletes represent their country
create
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creates
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a sense of unity.
As well as
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,
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apply
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being the
host
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city opens other doors too. Economic boost like
surge
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a surge
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in tourism, infrastructure and investment
these
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, these
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skyrocket the
countrie's
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country's
economy within a short period of time.
For instance
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, the
host
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nation would attract numerous audiences and tourists who are
intersted
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interested
in the
game
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across the world.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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view argue that the humongous cost of
Use synonyms
host
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hosting
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such
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an event outweighs any social benefits. The huge
money
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amount of money
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spent on building stadiums and infrastructure becomes white elephants once the
game
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concludes, sitting unused and consuming costs for years.
Moreover
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,
its
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it's
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just the
sponcers
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sponsors
and constructors who
get benefited
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benefit
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leaving
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, leaving
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the citizens affected.
For example
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, spending
huge
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a huge
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amount on
such
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huge events could be compensated with public welfare activities. In a nutshell,
while
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hosting games can foster national unity and pride , the risk
on
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of
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wasteful expenditure on unutilised infrastructure cannot be ignored. In my opinion,
such
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events are worthwhile only when the governments plan facilities with long-term public use in mind, ensuring that the benefits extend well beyond the closing ceremony.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. The good side is a bit more clear than the bad side.
task response
Give one more clear example for each main idea. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your opinion a little more in the last body part, not only in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas, like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Keep them shorter and simpler.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and all sentences support it.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The main ideas are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The opinion in the conclusion is easy to understand.
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