IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In today's fast-paced world, local
suppliers
Use synonyms
 are superior to international producers for economic and environmental reasons.
While
Linking Words
 it has some upsides, the downsides can be far greater than these benefits because international
suppliers
Use synonyms
 have some standards that are significant for human
health
Use synonyms
, and they label their
products
Use synonyms
, which show
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
 date and expiration date. On the one hand, one of the advantages of preferring local
suppliers
Use synonyms
 is that these producers operate locally, which means that they don't have a
long distance
Correct your spelling
long-distance
food
Use synonyms
 supply chain, leading them to consume less
diesel
Use synonyms
 energy.
This
Linking Words
 is because they transport their
products
Use synonyms
 to local stores
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are located close to their farms.
As a result
Linking Words
, these
farmers
Use synonyms
' transportation requires less energy
due to
Linking Words
 shorter distances compared to international
farmers
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are the main contributors to environmental issues because of
long distance
Correct your spelling
long-distance
 hauling.
For instance
Linking Words
, international
food
Use synonyms
suppliers
Use synonyms
 have a significant number of ships which consume an enormous amount of
diesel
Use synonyms
 to transport their product to another country, which demonstrates that widespread reliance on fossil fuel in
food
Use synonyms
 transportation is detrimental to the environment .
Therefore
Linking Words
, consuming local
products
Use synonyms
 would have a great impact on reducing
diesel
Use synonyms
 consumption.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the disadvantages of consuming
food
Use synonyms
 produced by local
farmers
Use synonyms
 is that these
products
Use synonyms
 are questionable in terms of their packaging and expiration dates. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that local
farmers
Use synonyms
 don't have any standards for their
products
Use synonyms
, and they are independent producers
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means that they are not
scrutinized
Change the spelling
scrutinised
show examples
 by inspectors.
As a result
Linking Words
, consumers are not able to identify that
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 is edible after they have purchased it. To illustrate, the local apple farms draw many
food
Use synonyms
-lovers' attention from across the world in Quebec
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
 a significant number of people go to these farms and collect delicious apples;
however
Linking Words
, consumers have faced several
health
Use synonyms
 issues after eating rotten apples because they don't have any clue when the expiration date is.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 drawback is a serious problem for
health
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 local
products
Use synonyms
 have some advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as helping reduce
diesel
Use synonyms
 consumption
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a major contributor to environmental issues, I firmly maintain that the drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as
health
Use synonyms
 problems which are sparked by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of labelling of important days, have irreversible impacts on people's lives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say exactly why the bad points are stronger than the good points.
task response
Add one more direct idea about the economy, because the topic asks about the environment and the economy.
task response
Your example about apples is clear, but it feels weak and may not fully prove your main point. Use an example that is more general or more real.
task response
Each body part has one main idea, which is good, but explain each idea a bit more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, so the reader can follow it well.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but a few long sentences become hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, like diesel use and health risk. Try to add new support instead of saying the same point again.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter. This will help your meaning stay clear from start to end.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear opinion in the end.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and does not go far away from the question.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraphing with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like On the one hand, As a result, For instance, and Thus help connect your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: