IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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As
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shown by the graph
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, the annual average mobile expenditure between
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
 and in
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data compares
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three different
line
Use synonyms
 by ten years period
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the average
using
Replace the word
usage of
 cell phone
service
Use synonyms
 is
changing by
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increasing.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 national fixed-
line
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 is falling
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, international fixed
line
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
is fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
show examples
 and
remainging
Wrong verb form
remains
show examples
 by the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, from
starting
Replace the word
the start
 of the
line
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 fixed-
line
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 is on top
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is $700
despite
Punctuation problem
, despite
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that cell phone start at the bottom
as $200
Change preposition
at $200
show examples
 in 2001.
However
Linking Words
, since
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 started national fixed
line
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
service
Punctuation problem
service,
show examples
 is decline and
extremely
Verb problem
fell extremely
show examples
fall down
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to $400 in 2010.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 cell phone
service
Use synonyms
rising
Verb problem
is rising
show examples
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
dramatically and reach to top of $750 in the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, international fixed-
line
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 start as $280 aproximately buu it
is fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
show examples
 between 2002
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2004 and still remaining from 2004 to 2008 and increased 10 per cent in 2010.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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