IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think it is more important to develop a successful career while ‎others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. ‎Discuss both sides and give your opinion.‎

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Use synonyms
Career oriented
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Career-oriented
 individuals may
support
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 the ambitions of developing a successful livelihood.
One
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 may argue that the pursuit towards a
prosporeous
Correct your spelling
prosperous
career
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 opens a range of opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, working
dilegently
Correct your spelling
diligently
 towards a profession, like a doctor or a
lawyer
Punctuation problem
lawyer,
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 creates the chance for individuals to make money to
support
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 their family and their own
livlihood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
.
Additionally
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, -stable livelihood, -Money -
Support
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 family -More opportunities. -
On the other hand
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, quality time with loved ones reduces isolation. Humans are naturally social creatures
where they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 rely on interaction with
one
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 another. The strong ambition to achieve a
career
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 may lead to
burn out
Correct your spelling
burnout
 and alienation from
one
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's identity and community.
This
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 can lead to a decline in mental health, causing clinical conditions like depression or anxiety. In conclusion,
while
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 it can be argued that the desire to chase a successful
career
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 stems from the need to
support
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one
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's loved ones, it is
also
Linking Words
 essential to have a balance between having quality time with
one
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 another
while
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 simultaneously being able to
support
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 them.

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task response
Write a clear start that shows both sides of the topic.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly in the end and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Add one full main idea for each side, and explain each idea more.
task response
Use real and clear examples, not notes or short list points.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Do not leave bullet points in the essay. Turn them into full sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one side only.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one reason and one example.
task response
You discussed both sides of the topic.
task response
Your ending gives a clear idea about balance.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has body paragraphs and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking ideas are used, such as on the other hand and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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