IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the government should pay for healthcare and education. However, others believe that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
governments
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a responsibility towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly held belief that
governments
Use synonyms
 should help with the
ifrastructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
, and
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 capability, and not education, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 should provide all different utilities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points
and
Change preposition
of view and
show examples
 express my opinion. On one hand, a
Use synonyms
governments
Check wording
government's
show examples
 main act is to provide essentials. Other things
left
Verb problem
are left
show examples
 to the
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individual's
 level of income. If
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
 is given for free, the economy would be weak. Velocity of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 is considered one of the main factors of a strong economy.
For example
Linking Words
, if
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 paid for education, the teachers would pay for other things.
That
Verb problem
That's
show examples
 what
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the
country
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 grow.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, providing all
services
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 is very helpful to poor people, or people who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 problems. It is mandatory for the
governments
Use synonyms
 to provide if there is a national income
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as oil, gas,
tourism
Correct word choice
or tourism
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Saudi
Arabia
Add a comma
Arabia,
show examples
 we have free education, free health care, and free social security. In conclusion, it is depended in the
country
Use synonyms
's condition. For a weak
Use synonyms
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 it is understandable that the
governments
Use synonyms
 would not provide other
services
Use synonyms
, or for a
capitalism
Replace the word
capitalist
Use synonyms
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 it is commonly known for not giving
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
 for free. If the
country
Use synonyms
 is
wealthy
Punctuation problem
wealthy,
show examples
 the society might push for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
services
Use synonyms
. My opinion is that the government should not provide free
services
Use synonyms
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think that might weaken the
country
Use synonyms
 and decrease the economy.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Write a bit more about why people think the government should not pay, and why others think it should pay.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need one more line to show how and why.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, so, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence follows the last one in a clear way. Some ideas jump too fast.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
task response
You used a real example from Saudi Arabia, and this helps your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic linking words like on one hand, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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