Some people believe that children should start school at a very early age, while others think they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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There is a growing belief that
kids
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should start going to
academy
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an academy
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at an early
age
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,
while
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others argue that at
first,
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they should get older and only
then
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go to
school
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. In
this
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essay will discuss both views and I will give my own opinion. On the one hand, some people think that
children
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should go to
school
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at a young
age
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. The main reason for
this
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statement is that the sooner they start, the more comprehensive they will be. Due
togoing
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to going
to
school
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earlier, they have at least one more year before their 18th birthday after completing
school
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, which means that they can gain a significant amount of knowledge until their 18th birthday.
This
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leads to better management of their work in the future, despite their maturity. Many parents,
for instance
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, bring their
kids
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to
school
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at the
age
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of 5.
Therefore
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, these
children
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study with older students and try to achieve the same amount of knowledge that the
more
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apply
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older ones have.
As a result
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,
children
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who went to
school
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earlier surpass the other
kids
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who are
at
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apply
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the same
age
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.
On the other hand
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, despite these benefits, some parents argue that
children
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should get older before going to
school
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.
This
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point is understandable for several reasons.
Firstly
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, because
kids
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should be raised as
kids
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, without studying;
however
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, the main reason is that to be enrolled on many universities , students should be at least 18 years old, which is almost impossible if
children
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start to go to
school
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before turning six.
This
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leads to taking a gap year after finishing
the
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apply
show examples
school
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in order to apply for universities. Which is not that beneficial for
kids
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. They can easily forget the
school
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program in one year. Because of
this
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, studying
in
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at
show examples
university will be harder. In conclusion,
although
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some people believe that
children
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should go to
school
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earlier, it is much more effective
to begin
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studying at an older
age
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully and explain why your view is better in a clearer way.
task response
Some main ideas are not fully clear. Make each reason simple and explain it step by step.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and easy to believe.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are weak. Use shorter sentences and connect one idea to the next more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
A few parts repeat the same point. Try to make each sentence add a new idea.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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