Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
digital
Change preposition
in the digital
show examples
age,
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
and
cinemas
Use synonyms
are one of the most important
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
of fun and
also
Linking Words
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
the
economic
Replace the word
economy
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
culture.
Where
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
is a commonly held
blief
Correct your spelling
belief
that
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
are not important as it was
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
There is
also
Linking Words
argumant
Correct your spelling
an argument
that it is the
obiste
Correct your spelling
obituary
.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, the
people
Use synonyms
who
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that
cinemas
Use synonyms
and
theatrs
Correct your spelling
theatres
are no longer
importent
Correct your spelling
important
to us
due to
Linking Words
the development in the world and the easy
accsess
Correct your spelling
access
to the internet give
as
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
more
opptions
Correct your spelling
options
to get
intertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
.
In other words
Linking Words
, everyone can
whatch
Correct your spelling
watch
any movies or shows online without paying
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is more
afordable
Correct your spelling
affordable
.
For example
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
prefer to watch films and other shows at home rather than spending money to go to the
Use synonyms
cinemas
Check wording
cinema
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
want to get everything as fast as possible
going
Punctuation problem
, going
show examples
to places to watch things may be
considers as
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
a
weast
Correct your spelling
waste
of time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other
people
Use synonyms
are
aginset
Correct your spelling
against
that. In better explanation , they think that
cinemas
Use synonyms
and
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
are very important
economiclly
Correct your spelling
economically
and
culturlly
Correct your spelling
culturally
as it increace the
economic
Replace the word
economy
in the country and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
more
oppertunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to
people
Use synonyms
in
defferent filds
Correct your spelling
different fields
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
can get jobs from working in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
cinemas
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many countries depend on
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
cinemas
Use synonyms
in their
economic
Replace the word
economy
as they
also
Linking Words
see it as
expression
Correct article usage
an expression
show examples
of their culture. In my opinion ,
Ithink
Correct your spelling
I think
that
cinemas
Use synonyms
and theatres are less important nowadays because
people
Use synonyms
can get more
intertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
online in the internet and
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
way more
afordable
Correct your spelling
affordable
. In conclusion,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
question. On balance.
Linking Words
however
Capitalize the word
However
show examples
, I tend to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
cinemas
Use synonyms
and theatres are not important and
people
Use synonyms
use the internet more to get more
intertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write a bit more about why online watching is good and why cinemas still matter.
task response
Give clearer reasons for your opinion. Now your view is clear, but it needs stronger support.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your examples are very general.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Some lines are hard to understand because of word choice and grammar.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it with one or two clear support points.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like on the one hand, on the other hand, moreover, and in conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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