The bar chart on the right gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
the number of
students
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studying the major Computer Science at a UK university between the years 2010
through
Correct word choice
and
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2012. It
also
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gives us a view
at
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of
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the numbers of
Men
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and
Women
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and whether they are
British
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home
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students
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or International
students
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.
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Overall
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Overall,
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it is shown that
Men
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in the
year
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2012 have the highest numbers for both
British
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home
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students
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and International
students
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.
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
the highest number of
women
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is
also
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the
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in the
show examples
year
Use synonyms
2012
making
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, making
show examples
British
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home
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students
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and International
students
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higher than every
year
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before.
In contrast
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, the highest number
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British
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of British
show examples
home
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students
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were able to reach was about 43, International
students
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Linking Words
on
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, on
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the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
were able to reach 39
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
2012 their highest mark! For
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women
Punctuation problem
women,
show examples
their highest score they were able to reach for
British
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home
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students
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was 45
and
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, and
show examples
International
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for International
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
students,
show examples
17
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. This
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this
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makes
Men
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and
Women
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have a common
year
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of high scores.
This
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bar chart shows that 2010 and 2011 are less in numbers for both sections
making
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, making
show examples
2012 the winner
though
Punctuation problem
. However,
show examples
for
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men
Punctuation problem
men,
show examples
the
year
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after
it is 2010 having
Correct word order
is 2010, with
show examples
a much higher score than 2011 in
British
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home
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students
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though
Punctuation problem
, though
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a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
smaller difference in International
students
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. For
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Women
Punctuation problem
Women,
show examples
2011 had a very high competion making 2011 almost
beating
Wrong verb form
beat
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it with a tiny win mark.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, on the other hand".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, men, women, british, home, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number
  • students
  • studying
  • Computer Science
  • increase
  • significant
  • lowest
  • highest
  • period
  • trend
  • popularity
  • courses
  • year
  • recorded
  • interest
  • growing
  • few
  • reach
  • peak
  • comparison
  • feature
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