IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some believe four-day workweek would increase would increase productivity and improve work life balance. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In
this
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 modern world, it is argued by some that four days
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week would not only enhance individuals' productivity but
also
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would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve their balance of work-life. In fact, I agree
the
Change preposition
with the
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 notion for three main reasons. One of the reasons why I agree is
a
Correct word choice
that a
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shorter work-week can reduce
burn out
Correct your spelling
burnout
 and mental
faituge
Correct your spelling
fatigue
. When a person has a mundane life, they tend to make more mistakes and have weaker focus. Because of mental
faituge
Correct your spelling
fatigue
,
employees
Use synonyms
 more often apply for sick leaves and results in
abesenteeism
Correct your spelling
absenteeism
. It has been observed that companies which have trialled four days work-week reported
a
Correct article usage
apply
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maintained and increased productivity. Another reason is
an
Correct word choice
that an
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 extra
day-off
Correct your spelling
day off
 allows
employees
Use synonyms
 to maintain
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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 personal life. When
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals'
Check wording
individuals
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 spend quality time and pursue
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hobbies will not only increase their dopamine but
also
Linking Words
 maintain work-life
effectivly
Correct your spelling
effectiveness
. It is proven in one of the studies
where
Correct word choice
that
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 a person who spends a day
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hobbies
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they love
resulted
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 in working efficiently in their job. The final reason is
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 would
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
employees
Use synonyms
' retention. As employee gets the full benefits from their companies
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 day-offs and vacation, they tend to resign less and stay with the
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
 for a longer period of time. The company gets more benefits with the most experienced staff, and it
also
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 saves the cost and effort of training new
employees
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, not only
four day work week can
Correct word order
can a four-day work week
show examples
 improve the efficiency of the work
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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employees
Use synonyms
 have healtheir life style which reduces mental
burn out
Correct your spelling
burnout
, and they tend to make
lesser
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 mistakes in their work.
Therefore
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, I agree with having a shorter
work-week
Correct your spelling
work week
.

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task response
For task response: your answer is clear, but say your view in a more direct way. Write exactly how far you agree.
task response
For task response: add one more clear and real example. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response: explain each main idea a bit more. Some parts are too short.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has clear paragraphs, which is good. But some sentences do not link in a smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: use simple linking words carefully, like first, also, finally, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: check small grammar and word form errors because they can make your meaning less clear.
task response
For task response: you answer the topic and give a clear opinion.
task response
For task response: your main ideas are on topic and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: you have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: each body paragraph has one main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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