It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. In this modern era, financial security a

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some

Capitalize the word

Some

show examples

people believe that it is the duty of individuals to save for their

retirement

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Punctuation problem

; however

show examples

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

are of the opinion that it is

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

government

Check wording

government's

show examples

obligation to provide support to

their citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

its citizens

show examples

This

Linking Words

issue has sparked considerable debate .I partially agree with it based on logical reason and

real world

Correct your spelling

real-world

relevance

Punctuation problem

relevance,

show examples

a clear conclusion can be drawn.

This

Linking Words

essay will present

well supported

Correct your spelling

well-supported

arguments to justify my stance.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the most compelling

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

is that individuals should save for their

retirement

Use synonyms

because it will make them

independant

Correct your spelling

independent

and

also

Linking Words

provide freedom to live

according to

Linking Words

their own lifestyle.

In addition

Linking Words

that

Punctuation problem

that,

show examples

they will develop financial discipline that will help them in being

self sufficant

Correct your spelling

self-sufficient

For instance

Linking Words

citizen of

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and

Canda

Correct your spelling

Canada

invest in

retirement

Use synonyms

policies

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

result

Punctuation problem

result,

show examples

they can

made their

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

both ends meet.

On the other hand

Linking Words

government

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

should provide support to its

inhibitant

Check wording

inhabitants

show examples

one

Capitalize the proper name

One

show examples

of the most compelling

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

is that people face difficulties in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives,

show examples

such

Linking Words

as unemployment,low income and illness

Linking Words

due

Punctuation problem

, due

show examples

to which they cannot save enough for their

future

Punctuation problem

future,

show examples

so goverment should provide adequate income to the individual. As in

finland

Capitalize the proper name

Finland

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and Neitherland goverment provides income and health support to senior citizen

this

Linking Words

helps

their individual

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

to live a happy and carefree life. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

personal savings and

government

Use synonyms

safety net

vcan

Correct your spelling

can

together contribute

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

to deal with

this

Linking Words

problem.

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

and individuals together can make plans and policies to deal with

retirement

Use synonyms

plan beacuse together they can make

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

sustainable solution.

laibaabbas85

Jul 8, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.

task response

Add one or two more clear ideas to each body part. Explain how and why each idea supports your view.

task response

Use examples with a little more detail. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph start with one main idea. Then add support after it.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in conclusion, but do not join too many ideas in one long sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Check full stops and capital letters. Clear sentence breaks will make your writing much easier to follow.

task response

You answered both sides of the topic and gave your own view.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

task response

You used examples from different countries, which helps support your ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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