Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The majority of
people
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believe that social
media
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, like
facebook
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Facebook
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or
twitter
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Twitter
show examples
,
are
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is
show examples
hazardous for young generations and their ability to form personal
connection
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connections
show examples
.
While
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others think that these platforms bring
people
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together in
a
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apply
show examples
positive
aspects
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ways
show examples
. I believe that
although
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social
media
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has some disadvantages. On the one hand , social
media
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can damage face to face comunication. Many
teenegers
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teenagers
spend
to
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too
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much time using their phones
instead
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of talking to family members or friends in real life.
As a result
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, they become less confident in social situations and find it
diffucult
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difficult to
develop
comunication
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communication
skills.
In addition
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, spending many hours online can reduce study
time
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time,
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sometimes cause stress or
anciaty
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anxiety
because young
people
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compare themselves to others .
For example
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, a student who
spend
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spends
show examples
several hours scrolling through social
media
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every day may achieve lower grades.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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has many important
benifits
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benefits
.
Firts
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First
of all, social
media
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provides easy
acces
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access
to educational programs. Another benifits these websites make it easier to meet
people
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with similar hobbies and
interents
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interests
.
Furthermore
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, it allows
people
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to stay in touch
friends
Change preposition
with friends
show examples
and family who live far away.
For instance
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, many students improve their
english
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English
show examples
by joining online communities and practising with
people
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from different countries. In conclusion,
while
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social
media
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may create some problems if it is overused, I believe that it is more
benificial
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beneficial
than harmful. When young
people
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use platforms responsibly and balance online
comunication
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communication
with
real life
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real-life
interaction.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say your view, but the first line does not finish the idea clearly.
task response
Add one more clear reason for why social media is good or bad, and explain it more.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your student example is good, but it needs one more line of support.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph link more smoothly. Some ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some lines are not complete or are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as on the one hand, on the other hand, as a result, and for example.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some good linkers like on the one hand and for instance.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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