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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rising levels of traffic congestion in many big cities around the world can cause the decline in the quality of life in cities. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Trafic jam is metropolatine areas
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 rapidly
increasingin
Correct your spelling
increasing
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue may have a negative impact on the
lifestle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 of
city
Use synonyms
 residents in a
number
Use synonyms
 of ways.
Due to
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 the growing
number
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 of cars,
city
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 streets are
congisted
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congested
 with various types of
vhiecles
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vehicles
.
Thus
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getting
Punctuation problem
, getting
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 from one place
into
Change preposition
to
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 another in
time
Use synonyms
 has become strenous task.
Although
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 there may be many
cuases
Correct your spelling
causes
 for
this
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 problem, in my opinion, the lack of a reliable public
trasportation
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transportation
 system is
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
the
show examples
 major reason behind it. To solve
this
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 matter, both the
goverment
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government
 and the
people
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 should
work
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 together. A lot of
people
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 move to urban areas seeking a comfortable
life style
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lifestyle
 through having better job
approtunities
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opportunities
.
However
Linking Words
, with the high levels of
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
congestion
Add a comma
congestion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 would not be
feasable
Correct your spelling
feasible
 as the daily struggle of reaching your
work
Use synonyms
, school, or even doctor appointments on
time
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 becomes nearly
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
. Arriving late,
specialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 to
work
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, would place a great amount of stress on a daily basis
affecting
Punctuation problem
, affecting
show examples
 the mental health of the employee or student. Since the implication not being at
work
Use synonyms
 on
time
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 are
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 costly to many.
For example
Linking Words
, employers may fire those who repeatedly show up to
work
Use synonyms
 late or demote them. In terms of health, some
people
Use synonyms
 would skip their breakfast in order to save
time
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 and end up suffering from unhealthy diets.
City
Use synonyms
 residents prefer to buy
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own car rather than taking the bus or a taxi. Perhaps the bus timing is
inconveinat
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
 to them or the take-off and
drop off
Correct your spelling
drop-off
 timings are not
relaible
Correct your spelling
reliable
.
Also
Linking Words
, buses are
usaully crownded
Correct your spelling
usually crowded
 and
uncomftable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
, those who live far from their
Use synonyms
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
 might end up standing up through the entire ride.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the option of riding in a taxi daily is costly. If the
goverment restriced
Correct your spelling
government restricted
 the
number
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 of owned
vhiacles
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vehicles
 per
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
, the levels of traffic
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 certainly drop. Another measure would be to increase the
number
Use synonyms
or
Change preposition
of
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 buses to solve the problem of overcrowded rides.
City
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 can
contributre
Correct your spelling
contribute
 by taking a bike to travel to close places rather than
relaying
Use the right word
relying
show examples
 on cars.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain causes well, but your solutions part is shorter and needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph should focus on causes, and one should focus on solutions.
task response
Add more direct support for each point. For example, explain how better buses or train systems can reduce car use.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short ending that clearly repeats your main answer about cause and solution.
task response
You answer the question and give both causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and ending idea.
task response
You use an example about work and stress, which helps your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • traffic congestion
  • quality of life
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • bottleneck
  • commuting
  • alternative transport options
  • cycling paths
  • sustainable transport
  • reliance on cars
  • urban planning
  • vehicle ownership
  • population growth
  • inefficient layouts
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