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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates changes in
employment
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 levels (in millions) across four key economic sectors in the United States - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and
Healthcare
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 - from 1960 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, manufacturing and agriculture experienced a long-term decline in
jobs
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,
while
Linking Words
healthcare
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 showed consistent growth. Retail
employment
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 rose steadily until around 2000 before plateauing and slightly declining
thereafter
Linking Words
. In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employer among the four sectors, with approximately 15
million
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jobs
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. It peaked at around 20
million
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 in 1980, after which it declined steadily to roughly 13
million
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 by 2020.
In contrast
Linking Words
, agriculture started with about 6
million
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jobs
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 in 1960 and fell sharply to just under 2
million
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 by 2020 - a reduction of over two-thirds.
Healthcare
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 began with the fewest
jobs
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 (around 2
million
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) in 1960 but demonstrated uninterrupted growth, rising to approximately 16
million
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 by 2020 - surpassing manufacturing as the largest sector by the end of the period. Retail
employment
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 grew from about 6
million
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 in 1960 to 15
million
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 in 2020, though its trajectory was not linear
:
Punctuation problem
;
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 it increased steadily until 2000 (reaching ~15
million
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),
then
Linking Words
 levelled off and dipped slightly to 15.5
million
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 by 2020 - still higher than in 1960 but marginally below its 2000 peak. Notably,
healthcare
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 overtook retail around 2010 and surpassed manufacturing by 2020, reflecting a structural shift toward service- and care-based
employment
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 in the US economy over the six decades.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, healthcare, jobs, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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