IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

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Sports
Use synonyms
 and exercises have become a
trend
Use synonyms
 for all ages and
etnical
Correct your spelling
ethnic
 groups.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 stress for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
tries
Correct subject-verb agreement
try
show examples
 to catch it, it brings
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
discipline and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 for
people
Use synonyms
. I believe working out's advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct determiner usage
its disadvantages
show examples
overall
Linking Words
. It is common to see a disciplined
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who exercise regularly or do a sport.
Sports
Use synonyms
 require
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consistent practise so
people
Use synonyms
 set their schedules for that.
For example
Linking Words
 unlikely ordinary
people
Use synonyms
, athletes have a dedicated work with certain schedules which bring them success and discipline.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
show examples
 they get
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 proper work and family
life
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, regular
work outs
Correct your spelling
workouts
 cause a healthy body and healthy mental health. When
people
Use synonyms
 move their body regularly, their muscles start to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 and
also
Linking Words
 release some kind hormones
such
Linking Words
 as
seratonin
Correct your spelling
serotonin
 and melatonin
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 cause happiness and improve
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 of
immune
Correct article usage
the immune
show examples
 system.
For instance
Linking Words
, athletes have
more clear
Replace the word
clearer
 and less anxious minds in general.
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
show examples
 regular exercising leads to
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 body and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 mind.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for
people
Use synonyms
 who try to do a sport just because it is a
trend
Use synonyms
, it only causes stress. When
people
Use synonyms
 force themselves
for
Verb problem
to do
show examples
 something even if they do not want
, they
Verb problem
to, they
show examples
 are pushing their minds.
Hence
Linking Words
 brain can be exhausted
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can be harmful rather than beneficial. In conclusion,
sports
Use synonyms
 and exercises are keys
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a disciplined and healthy
life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 if
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 is being followed just because it is popular,
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
 just harm mentally and
physicaly
Correct your spelling
physically
. In
overall
Linking Words
 evaluation,
sports
Use synonyms
 and exercises are pretty beneficial.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Keep showing why the good side is stronger than the bad side.
task response
Give one more clear and real example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they need fuller support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking between ideas. Some sentences jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few parts are hard to follow because of grammar and word form problems.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You discuss both the good side and the bad side, so the answer is complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs have one main point, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Chronic diseases
  • Mental well-being
  • Teamwork
  • Social interaction
  • Risk of injuries
  • Overtraining syndrome
  • Physical fitness
  • Stress
  • Fatigue
  • Accessibility
  • Inequality
  • Health disparities
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