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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Around the world, only a few languages are increasing in use, the use of many other languages is declining. It is a positive or negative development?

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In the present world,
due to
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 growth of global communication and trading, statistics show that the usage of some languages is growing,
while
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 other languages
become
Wrong verb form
are becoming
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 less popular.
This
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 issue
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 both positive and negative points. Looking at the advantages,
it is clear that
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 it will be easier for trading between countries as an understanding
each
Change preposition
of each
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 other will increase, so does a tourism. The
loss
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 of
own
Correct determiner usage
one's own
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 means of communication is the main negative effect. On the one hand, nowadays
an
Correct article usage
the
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 existence of a "global"
language
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 would be a
very
Correct word choice
great
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 benefit for all
nations
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.
Firstly
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, as it is written before, an awareness will increase among our regions, so traders, sellers and
businesmen
Correct your spelling
businessmen
 will not
afraid
Verb problem
be afraid
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 of misunderstanding each other.
Secondly
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, people from different parts of the world can travel without learning anything, so tourism will be much
more
Rephrase
apply
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easier.
This
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 sense of benefits can strengthen the connection between
nations
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.
On the other hand
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, an important and only problem, which can be
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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 by the globalisation of
languages
Punctuation problem
languages,
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 is the
loss
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 of a major part of culture. For the formation of a
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language
Add a comma
language,
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 people needed many decades, including difficulties that some
nations
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 had to hide
thier
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their
 own
language
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 because they did not have
rights
Correct article usage
the rights
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 for it. We can say that each
language
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remind
Correct subject-verb agreement
reminds
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 its people
its
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of its
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 history and events they went through. So, every
language
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 is associated with its country and has
own
Correct determiner usage
its own
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 history, and the
loss
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 of
own
Correct determiner usage
its own
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 tool is literally the
loss
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 of
own
Correct determiner usage
its own
show examples
 culture and "memory". In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed both advantages and disadvantages
:
Punctuation problem
. Although
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although
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 today a general
language
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 gives us many opportunities,
this
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 brings a huge problem for the important feature of
nations
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if this is more positive or more negative.
task response
Add one or two simple examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are too short or too general.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler and more direct way. Some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and then support it well.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The main ideas are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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