IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

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In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 era,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in metropolitan
find
Check wording
areas find
show examples
 it hard to enjoy their lives.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly
due to
Linking Words
 increasing air pollution
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the standard of living is much higher.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a range of measures that could be implemented to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 issue. One of the reasons is
more usage
Replace the word
the increased use
 of private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in urban areas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads to
polluting
Correct word choice
poor
show examples
 air quality. Individuals nowadays find it more convenient to use their own
vehicles
Use synonyms
 to travel that results into releasing of more toxic chemicals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the cost of living in modern
cities
Use synonyms
 is expensive
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 includes rent, transportation and grocery bills. Low-income families are highly affected because their salaries are lower
then
Linking Words
 the spendings.
For example
Linking Words
, the cost of living in America is $4500 monthly
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is higher than
compared to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other countries.
However
Linking Words
, there are numerous ways to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue. The first solution is government should restrict private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
. When there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 more feasible public transportation,
people
Use synonyms
 will decrease the usage of their own
vehicles
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 not only will result in
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
toxic chemicals
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 they will save money
of the
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel.
Also
Linking Words
, there will be more houses which
people
Use synonyms
 can afford
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with low-cost
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
groceries and public
transportations
Check wording
transportation
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, there should be some places where
people
Use synonyms
 find the cheapest groceries
while
Linking Words
 maintaining the good quality of
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them,
show examples
 which leads to satisfactory living in urban
cities
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, not only will air pollution
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in dissatisfaction
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 standard of living causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals who live in
cities
Use synonyms
. Only when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
put
Correct subject-verb agreement
puts
show examples
 limitations on
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of private
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
, and
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
show examples
 houses which are less expensive, will the situation be remedied.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why city life is hard, and you give some fixes, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Use clearer examples. Your example about America is helpful, but it feels broad. A city example would be stronger.
task response
Develop each main point with one clear cause and one clear result. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'however', but do not overuse them.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You give two clear reasons: air pollution and high cost of living.
task response
You also give government actions, such as better public transport and cheaper housing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to see in parts: introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to connect ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolitan
  • Overpopulation
  • Commuting
  • Infrastructure
  • Cost of living
  • Pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Public services
  • Mental health
  • Work-life balance
  • Quality of life
  • Social cohesion
  • Crime prevention
  • Sustainability
  • Urban planning
  • Recreational areas
  • Public transportation
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