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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph compares the
numbers
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number
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 of
shop
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closures
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 and new
shop
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openings
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 in a particular country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
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, the
number
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 of new
shop
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openings
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 showed a clear downward trend over the period,
whereas
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 the
number
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 of
shop
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closures
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 fluctuated considerably. The most notable feature was the dramatic fall in
closures
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 to below 1,000 in 2015, after which the figure recovered. Except for 2011 and 2015,
shop
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closures
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 generally outnumbered
openings
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. In 2011, approximately 8,500 new shops opened, compared with around 6,400
closures
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.
While
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openings
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then
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 fell sharply to about 4,000 in 2012,
closures
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 declined only slightly to just under 6,000. Over the following two years, the
number
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 of
openings
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 recovered steadily, reaching roughly 6,200 in 2014, almost matching the figure for
closures
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, which stood at around 6,500 after peaking at just above 7,000 in 2013. A striking change occurred in 2015 when
shop
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closures
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 plunged to approximately 700, the lowest point on the graph,
whereas
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openings
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 remained relatively stable at about 4,000.
However
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,
closures
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 rebounded dramatically to just over 5,000 in 2016 and
then
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 remained broadly stable, fluctuating only marginally between 5,000 and 5,200 through to 2018.
By contrast
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, the
number
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 of
openings
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 stayed at around 4,000 in both 2015 and 2016, edged up slightly to roughly 4,200 in 2017, and
then
Linking Words
 declined to just 3,000 in the final year, the lowest figure recorded for new
shop
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openings
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, closures, openings, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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