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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart illustrates the amount of hours that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists used per day to do 3 activities

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The given bar chart presents the proportion of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent by
American
Use synonyms
,
Turkish
Use synonyms
 and
Brazilian
Use synonyms
 tourists per day in enjoying holiday activities at three different sites.
Overall
Linking Words
, Chinese and
American
Use synonyms
 likes to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 much of their time at
beach
Correct article usage
the beach
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 and by reading
books
Punctuation problem
books,
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 as there is a downward trend among
Use synonyms
turkish
Check wording
Turks
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
brazilian
Check wording
Brazilians
show examples
 in
reading
Punctuation problem
reading,
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 as
brazilian
Use synonyms
 prefered to explore other places. As for
chinese
Capitalize the proper name
Chinese
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
american
Capitalize the proper name
American
show examples
,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 number of
hours
Use synonyms
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
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 in reading was about 8
hours
Use synonyms
 and 5
hours
Use synonyms
 by
Use synonyms
american
Capitalize the proper name
American
show examples
 nationals. Chinese residents remained for three
hours
Use synonyms
 at
beach
Correct article usage
the beach
show examples
 for sunlight
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 the time increased by one hour for
Use synonyms
american
Capitalize the proper name
American
show examples
 citizens.
Turkish
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 people make their way for vacations at beach for around 5
hours
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 and study different novels for approximately 4
hours
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. A similar amount of time
used
Verb problem
was used
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 by
Brazilian
Use synonyms
 in reading
articles
Punctuation problem
articles,
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 as
Use synonyms
turkish
Check wording
Turks
show examples
 looked for other memorable sites around 3
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, american, turkish, brazilian with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spent time on
  • hours per day
  • the highest figure
  • the lowest figure
  • a similar amount of time
  • more than
  • less than
  • in contrast
  • while
  • overall
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