IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, the citizens are convinced that building
companies
Use synonyms
 should construct high apartment blocks to offer homes for
home-needed people
Correct word order
people in need of homes
show examples
 in huge cities. I completely disagree that
companies
Use synonyms
 should construct certain
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of blocks
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explain why I disagree, and give two examples
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
 they do not convince
that
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
. On the one hand, each company have their own boundaries to spending on goods that they have to determine, it is forbidden to
over
Verb problem
go over
show examples
 the limit only
for getting
Wrong verb form
to get
show examples
 a positive reaction
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 citizens.
For example
Linking Words
, as I was working in a restaurant where
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
show examples
 the same rules and laws as in building
companies
Use synonyms
. There was
exact
Correct article usage
an exact
show examples
 portion for each meal, and if we
over
Verb problem
exceeded
show examples
 it, and put more portions, we got a fine.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
in a
Correct word order
companies can
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take the fine for that.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the prices which only the least figures of citizens are able to
purhuse
Correct your spelling
purchase
. If the expenses for building materials
such
Linking Words
 as bricks, cement and
conrete
Correct your spelling
concrete
 go over the
actuall
Correct your spelling
actual
, definitely the prices will
also
Linking Words
 increase because of the expenses (inflation).
For instance
Linking Words
, one building company in Kyrgyzstan started
at increasing
Wrong verb form
to increase
show examples
 their areas, but they could not
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that governments
will be grown
Wrong verb form
would increase
show examples
 their taxes and charge higher than
used
Correct pronoun usage
they used
show examples
 to, and
due to
Linking Words
 the low GDP
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in that city, it
was lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
companies
Use synonyms
'
bunkropt
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
building
Correct article usage
a building
show examples
 company can not build tall space blocks;
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
 disagree that they will be able to provide the spaces
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 lower prices.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly why you disagree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Now the ideas are short and not fully explained.
task response
Use examples that match the topic of homes in big cities. The restaurant example is not close to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Make your body paragraphs easier to follow. Start with one clear main idea, then explain it, then give one good example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, because, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to understand and this hurts the flow.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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