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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph show the average number of weekly patients visiting for clinic of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

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The line graph demonstrates the average number of weekly
patients
Use synonyms
 visiting
for
Change preposition
the
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 clinic of a hospital between 2010 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 all four
patients
Use synonyms
 visiting
for
Change preposition
the
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 clinic started with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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small
numbers
Use synonyms
, they had experienced a considerable growth throughout the period. In 2010, people who visited
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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 control
had
Check wording
clinic had
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 the biggest
Use synonyms
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of
patients
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, accounting for about 250
patients
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, there has been a considerable increase for the next two years, where
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 represented approximately 270
patients
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, a subsequent decline can be
observer In
Wrong verb form
observed in
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 2014, with nearly 180
patients
Use synonyms
, which was following with a marginal rise in 2016, having stood at just above 200
patients
Use synonyms
. Turning to the other group of clinic
visitors
Use synonyms
, the
Use synonyms
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of
patients
Use synonyms
 visiting
eye
Use synonyms
 and dental dieverged In 2010, and for the next two
years
Add a comma
years,
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eye
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 represented 150
patients
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 dental
visitors
Use synonyms
 fell by 50
patinents
Correct your spelling
patients
. In 2014,
eye
Use synonyms
 overtook birth control rate and reached its peak at 350
visitors
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In
Fix capitalization
in
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 2016. Diabetic and
eye
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patients
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flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 over the period, and by 2016, they both represented different
numbers
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 with nearly 180 and approximately 120
patients
Use synonyms
, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, numbers, visitors, eye with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
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