Many people today leave their small villages and the country side and move to the big cities. Give reasons for doing this and give some problems it might cause.

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Nowadays, many
people
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are choosing to live in big
cities
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instead
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of small
villages
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.
Also
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, there are many
reasons
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why they are leaving the
villages
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.
This
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can create some problems.
This
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essay will examine the
reasons
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for doing
this
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and give some
problems
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of the problems
show examples
it might cause. On the one hand, there are numerous
reasons
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for
people
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to leave their small
villages
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.
First,
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there are many more great job opportunities.
People
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move to big
cities
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looking for
fulltime
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full-time
employment, which is difficult to find in the village. Most of the companies and businesses are located in the city.
In addition
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, they can find jobs with a good salary. Second,many move to the
cities
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so they can get a better education.
Cities
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have more schools and universities.
Furthermore
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, students can have more choices for their education.
Finally
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, a big city has excellent services. Anyone can access hospitals and healthcare.
For example
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, public transportation is easily available.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, many
people
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who go to the city might create huge troubles . First , one major problem is overpopulation in big
cities
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.
For example
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,too many
people
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can make
cities
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very crowded.
As a result
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,there may not be enough houses for everyone. Second, heavy traffic is dangerous and might increase. The workers use their cars to travel every day .
As a result
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, they will be late at work.
Finally
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, moving to big
cities
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can increase pollution. More cars can cause more air pollution.
Therefore
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, the air can become unhealthy for
people
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to breathe. In conclusion, it is clear to see that
people
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who leave their
villages
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have good
reasons
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.
However
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, it might result in an increase in problems.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and problems, but some ideas are short.
task response
Add one more clear example for a reason or a problem. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. For example, say why better schools or traffic have a big effect on life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words are used too much, like First, Second, Finally, As a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences join more smoothly. A few parts feel separate, not fully connected.
coherence and cohesion
Check spacing and commas, for example 'Second,many' and spaces before commas.
task response
You answer the full question with reasons and problems.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words well enough to guide the reader.
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