Many mesuems charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Whether to take the entrance fee to
visit
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the museum has been a subject of debate.
While
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many national or international
museums
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are charging the
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charge
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tourists for entry, other
museums
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are providing
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provide
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free entry to visitors. I strongly believe that there are many advantages
for
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to
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charging the entrance fees, as most of the
artifacts
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artefacts
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are precious and old; to protect and conserve them,
administration
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the administration
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need
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needs
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funds.
Although
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there are some drawbacks
of
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to
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taking money from
people
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,
advantages
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the advantages
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are more positive than
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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. On the one hand,
museums
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are
the
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apply
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valuable monuments. They
are
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apply
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consist of numerous historical
sculpters
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sculptures
,
world famous
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world-famous
paintings, ancestral
documnets
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documents
, and many more
artistics
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artistic
things. They showcase the country's heritage. To preserve these
treasure
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treasures
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,
administration
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the administration
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need
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needs
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highly professional workers and
equipments
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equipment
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, which are costly. Charging
people
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to experience these original copies will surely help to
rais ethe
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raise the
funds.
Moreover
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,
people
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will find the importance of
such
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valuables.
For instance
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, the world famous Monalisa painting is popular
amoung
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among
the national and international tourists. As
this
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original
paintings
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painting
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is created by Leonardo Da Vinci,
and
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apply
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it will never
been
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be
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created again in the future. To protect
this
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masterpiece,
museum
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the museum
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is
charfing
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charging
fees for the same.
On the other hand
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, some visitors refuse to
visit
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the
museums
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because of the entry fee.
People
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do not want to spend money to see the
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
, as per their statement, it should be free for
eveyone
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everyone
as
its
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it's
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their cultural right.
As a result
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, they do not
visit
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such
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museums
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and prefer to
visit
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other random spots.
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While
Correct pronoun usage
This
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this
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situation can be handled by promoting discounts or concession tickets. In conclusion, I believe charging
people
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to
visit
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the historical
monumnets
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monuments
and
museum
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museums
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is worth
.
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it.
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As it
is
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apply
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gives you the information about our roots, culture,
ancestars
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ancestors
, heritage, and inventions.
However
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, to take care of these
things
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things,
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authorities need funds, and taking nominal charges will surely help them to preserve for our next generations.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part.
task response
Make your main ideas clearer and explain them with one more simple reason.
task response
Use examples that are clear and well linked to your point.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a more careful way so each paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some are good, but some sentences still feel hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check pronouns and repeated words so the flow is smoother.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You discuss both sides and give a final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • admission fee
  • steady income
  • pay for costs
  • public service
  • repair and care
  • better visitor experience
  • learning place
  • open to everyone
  • equal chance
  • free entry
  • low-income families
  • discount ticket
  • free day
  • cultural access
  • outweigh the disadvantages
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