IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The primary objective of scientific research should be to enhance human well-being. I strongly agree with
this
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 view because scientific advancements have not only improved living standards but have
also
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 helped solve many of society's most pressing challenges. One major reason why
science
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 should focus on improving
people
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's lives is its contribution to healthcare. Over the past century, scientific research has led to remarkable medical breakthroughs, including vaccines, antibiotics, and advanced surgical techniques. These developments have significantly reduced mortality rates and increased
life
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 expectancy in many parts of the world.
For instance
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, the discovery of antibiotics revolutionised medicine by enabling doctors to treat infections that were once fatal.
As a result
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, millions of
people
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 have been able to live longer, healthier, and more productive lives.
Furthermore
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,
science
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 has transformed everyday
life
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 by making it more convenient and efficient. Technological innovations have improved communication, transportation, education, and countless other aspects of modern society. Today,
people
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 can access information instantly, communicate across continents within seconds, and perform tasks that previously required considerable time and effort.
For example
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, the internet and smartphones have changed the way individuals work, study, and interact with one another.
Consequently
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,
people
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 are able to save time, increase productivity, and enjoy a higher quality of
life
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. Some
people
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 argue that the purpose of
science
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 should simply be the pursuit of knowledge, regardless of its practical applications.
While
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 expanding human understanding is undoubtedly important, scientific discoveries ultimately achieve their greatest value when they benefit society.
Therefore
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, improving
people
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's lives should remain the foremost priority of scientific endeavour. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the most important aim of
science
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 is to improve human well-being. Through advances in healthcare and technological innovation,
science
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 has dramatically enhanced the quality of
life
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 for
people
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 around the world, making
this
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 objective both necessary and desirable.

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task response
Add one more idea against your view, then show why your side is stronger.
task response
Use a more specific example from real life or history to make your point stronger.
task response
Try to explain a little more in the third body paragraph so the balance is even.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words like 'however' and 'on the other hand' to show contrast.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea lead more clearly to the next idea in the counter view paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You can vary paragraph openings a bit more to sound more natural.
task response
You answer the question clearly and your opinion is strong from start to end.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and easy to understand.
task response
The examples about health and technology fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the essay is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words like 'furthermore', 'for instance', and 'therefore' help the flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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