IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A magazine wants to include contributions from its readers for an article called 'The book that influenced me most. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most. In your letter • describe what this book was about • explain how this book influenced you • say whether this book would be likely to influence other people You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in regards to your
last
Linking Words
 published article, stating that people could send in a story about a
book
Use synonyms
 that had impacted their
live
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 the most. One
book
Use synonyms
 that I have read that really changed my life
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 was written by Ben Carson titled 'Gifted Hands'. It was an autobiography of one of the
world
Check wording
world's
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 most famous
neurosurgeon
Fix the agreement mistake
neurosurgeons
show examples
. It tells the story of his childhood academic and financial struggles, but he became successful
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
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 the end.
However
Linking Words
, I did not become a doctor
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
nonetheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
book
Use synonyms
 inspired me to pursue my dream of becoming a pharmacist. Despite the hardship I faced, I endured because
this
Linking Words
book
Use synonyms
 gave me the zeal to never give up on my dreams.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
book
Use synonyms
 will have
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 impact on many people just as it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 on me.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
book
Use synonyms
 will mostly inspire students who want to enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the medical profession. It will give you the courage you need to face the world
no
Punctuation problem
, no
show examples
 matter the difficulty. I hope I have been able to contribute to your upcoming article. Yours faithfully, Lina Ono

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task response
Task response: You answered all parts, but add a bit more detail about the book story and why it changed you.
task response
Task response: Keep the tone polite and clear all the way through.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a clear order. Use linking words a little more carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Try to keep one main point in each paragraph and make each point fuller.
task response
Task response: You described the book, said how it influenced you, and said who else it may influence.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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