Some people believe that women should stay at home and should take care of children, while others believe that women should work. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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People
argue that females should only take the Use synonyms
responsiblity
of nurturing Correct your spelling
responsibility
childeren
and looking after household chores Correct your spelling
children
but
the other group wants Punctuation problem
, but
women
to work independently. To my Use synonyms
prespective
, both genders should have equal freedom and responsibilities to make Correct your spelling
perspective
this
world better.
Linking Words
People
who tend to say that Use synonyms
women
are not required to Use synonyms
present
in workfields thinks that Verb problem
be present
women
are weaker than men and are not able to handle the Use synonyms
outer
world. Correct word choice
outside
This
notion is Linking Words
stick
with them from Wrong verb form
stuck
past
and Correct article usage
the past
elder
Correct word choice
older
people
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, as girls were not allowed to study years ago, Linking Words
this
belief is carried out by some even in Linking Words
present
too. Surprisingly, females are forced to stay inside and Correct article usage
the present
expected
to serve the family and kids.
Verb problem
are expected
On the other hand
, others and Linking Words
i beleive
that both sexes have the right to live in their own way. There are many wonderful Correct your spelling
I believe
women
who are Use synonyms
recognized
on the basis of Change the spelling
recognised
their
roles they have played in Change the pronoun
the
thier
fields and have contributed Correct your spelling
their
in
their nation. Change preposition
to
For example
, Linking Words
kalpana
Chawal was the first Capitalize the proper name
Kalpana
Use synonyms
women who was able
to go Fix the agreement mistake
woman
in the
space and Celebrities like priyanaka chopra is now known as Change preposition
into
a star
worldwide. Fix the agreement mistake
stars
Therefore
, the courageous Linking Words
women
have set an example to make Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
realize
that Change the spelling
realise
females
can lead in any industry.
In conclusion, men and Check wording
women
women
should have equal freedom and Use synonyms
responsiblities
because it is not the job of Correct your spelling
responsibilities
women
only to take care of the house and family , both can contribute equally and still can work as they want in their desired fields.Use synonyms
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task response
Write a clearer answer to both sides. Say more about why some people want women to stay at home, and more about why others want women to work.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Add one or two more clear ideas in each body paragraph. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Use examples that are close to the topic. Famous people are good, but family and work examples may fit better here.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea only. This will help the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'however', 'for example', and 'therefore' should connect ideas in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice. Shorter and simpler sentences can help your ideas sound clearer.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite