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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

33.The chart below shows the number of international applicants from four countries that a Europena university had from 2004 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The bar chat give information about the figures for applicants
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
from
show examples
 around the world , in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four different countries at European
university
Check wording
universities
show examples
 between 2004 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can be seen that the
students
Use synonyms
 are from 4 different countries (
China
Use synonyms
, Japan, America,and Russia) . With
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 proportion in Russia
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the years. In
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
China
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest score with around 27000
students
Use synonyms
 ,
then
Linking Words
 the USA with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20000
applicnters
Correct your spelling
applicants
.
However
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
Use synonyms
China
Check wording
China's
show examples
 figures
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 come down to reach 20000
applicantion
Correct your spelling
application
students
Use synonyms
 .
While
Linking Words
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 2006 and 2007
China
Use synonyms
was stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 at the same number of
students
Use synonyms
 .
Through out
Correct your spelling
Throughout
 the period of years
Japan
Punctuation problem
, Japan
show examples
 has a consistently
increas
Correct your spelling
increasing
 rostering to nearly 10000
students
Use synonyms
. In
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 America
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a
peaking
Replace the word
peak
 proportion with almost 27000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • trend
  • comparison
  • applicant numbers
  • peak years
  • growth
  • decline
  • pattern
  • influence
  • factors
  • diplomatic relationships
  • economic conditions
  • demand
  • convergence
  • divergence
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