IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, fewer young people are choosing to learn traditional skills like cooking, sewing, or woodworking.Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Across numerous nations, many youngsters are not interested in learning home
skills
Use synonyms
 like cooking or sewing because of two main reasons
that are
Punctuation problem
:
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 less
time
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 to learn
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these skills
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 and technological advancements.
This
Linking Words
problem
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 has some solutions which I will discuss in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs.The first reason behind
this
Linking Words
problem
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 is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
time
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.
Young
Correct article usage
The young
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 generation has
slot
Use the right word
a lot
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 of pressure to get better grades and results at each step of their education
learning
Check wording
apply
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.
This
Linking Words
 competition at
early
Correct article usage
an early
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 stage of their life left no
time
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 to focus on other essential life
skills
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.
For example
Linking Words
, A 10th grade student has
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
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 schedule after school to go to extra classes for securing their position in the top colleges in the area.
This
Linking Words
problem
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 can be solved by involving them after school in household activities, which will help them not only
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 these
skills
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 but
also
Linking Words
 overcome the stress
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their minds.The other
problem
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 is
,
Correct word choice
that
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 advancement in technology makes life easier and almost
forbidden
Wrong verb form
forbade
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 the need
of
Change preposition
for
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 learning sewing or cooking because there are a variety of applications
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 some
clicks
Punctuation problem
clicks,
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 you can order food or new trendy
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
. These easier choices save their
time
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 and do not
make
Verb problem
help
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 them
understanding of
Replace the word
understand the
 value of hand
skills
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. The best solution to
this
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problem
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 is
teachers
Correct word choice
that teachers
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 and parents should teach
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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about
Check wording
generation about
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 home made nutrient filled meals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 about
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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 way of making cloths is cheaper than buying them online at high costs.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , the problems like lack of
time
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 and
technology
Replace the word
technological
 power
which is restricting
Correct subject-verb agreement
that restrict
show examples
 younger people
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 learning important domestic
skills
Use synonyms
 can be solved by taking
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 steps by parents and schools to make them
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 how important these
skills
Use synonyms
 are.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Explain why this happens and how to fix it with a little more detail.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one direct point.
task response
Give one more specific example for each reason or solution.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like first, also, because, so, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence form and word choice because some parts are hard to follow.
task response
You answered both questions in the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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