Nowadays, many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families?

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In modern society, many individuals choose to relocate overseas for employment, leaving their families behind in their home country.
While
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I acknowledge that
this
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separation can cause severe emotional strain, I believe that the advantages,
such
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as higher earnings and superior healthcare, far outweigh the drawbacks. The benefits include a better salary, professional growth and advanced healthcare facilities.
Firstly
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, shifting abroad opens vast career
oppourtunities
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opportunities
with higher remuneration
can
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, which can
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raise their standard of living.
Secondly
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, individuals can utilise integrated technology and advanced medical care
which
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, which
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maintains their
overall
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well-being.
Furthermore
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, it gives an
oppourtunity
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opportunity
to connect with a wide range of people from different
backgounds
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backgrounds
and ethnicities. The drawbacks
comes by
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of
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moving to another nation
is
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are
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the fragmentation of the family bond. Prolonged physical separation often leads to emotional detachment, communication breakdowns, and a higher likelihood of marital dissolution.
Furthermore
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, the absence of a parental figure can deeply impact children’s psychological development. Growing up in a single-parent household or under the care of grandparents, children may lack essential emotional guidance, which can sometimes manifest as academic underachievement or
behavioral
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behavioural
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issues. The migrant worker
also
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suffers, frequently enduring severe loneliness and culture shock in a foreign land without their immediate support system. In conclusion,
while
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working abroad undeniably introduces severe emotional challenges and risks fracturing
the
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apply
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family bonds, it remains a highly justifiable sacrifice. The substantial economic advantages, ranging from poverty eradication to superior educational access, provide a foundation of security that far outweighs the temporary pain of geographical separation.

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task response
For task response, add one more clear example to support your main ideas.
task response
For task response, explain more why the good points are stronger than the bad points for families.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make some sentences shorter and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words carefully, such as 'however', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check grammar in topic sentences so each paragraph starts very clearly.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the topic and easy to identify.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical in most parts of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • expatriate
  • remittances
  • cultural assimilation
  • expatriate community
  • economic disparity
  • cultural shock
  • social integration
  • professional networking
  • emotional resilience
  • transnational families
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