IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given maps illustrate the transformation of the Beechwood farm from 1950 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ranch has undergone significant change, shifting from a large agricultural site used for raising sheep to a completely modern facility aimed at tourism and renewable energy. Farming areas mostly remain;
however
Linking Words
, several energy uses and tourist sites have been added. In 1950, the farm mainly served agricultural purposes. A track connected the road to the barn and farmhouse, passing through the fruit and
vegetables
Replace the word
vegetable
 farming site. Chickens were kept near the river in the south-east side,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the northern side of the map
sheep
Punctuation problem
, sheep
show examples
 were grazed in a large field. In the present day, numerous features exist.
For instance
Linking Words
, the track has been replaced by a standard road,
while
Linking Words
marketgarden
Correct your spelling
Market Garden
 sits still until now. A farmshop has been built near the road entrance, and two parking lots have been added. The sheep field has been converted into a camping zone and solar panel site.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Beechwood
farm
Capitalize the proper name
Farm
show examples
 has evolved into a modern destination that supports both agriculture and tourism.

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task response
Task response: Add more key changes from the maps. Say what was removed, what stayed, and what was added in each part of the farm.
task response
Task response: Be more exact with place words. For example, say where the new road, camp area, and solar panels are on the map.
task response
Task response: Check small facts carefully. Some words seem not fully right, so make sure each detail matches the map.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. To make it better, group changes by area or by old/new use in a more even way.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use link words a little more clearly, such as 'while', 'in contrast', 'to the north', and 'by the river'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are too general, like 'numerous features exist'. Replace them with direct map facts for stronger flow.
task response
Task response: You give a clear overall idea that the farm changed from farming to tourism and energy use.
task response
Task response: You include some important changes, like the new farm shop, parking lots, camping area, and solar panels.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay is easy to follow, with one overview paragraph and separate detail paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Time markers like 'In 1950' and 'In the present day' help guide the reader well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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