IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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From 1920 to 2019, the percentage of households using
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 and
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased steadily. In 1920, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 only slightly below half of the
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 using
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 and around one third of the
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 using
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
show examples
 cleaner. It's important to note that refrigerators are hardly
being
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
used at that time. In 1940, around half of the
household
Use synonyms
 has all of these three electrical appliances, with washing machines being the most common
electrical
Correct word choice
of these
show examples
 appliances. After 1960, the usage of
refrigerator
Check wording
refrigerators
show examples
 has a sharp rise and
surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
show examples
 the percentages of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two appliances.
Whereas
Linking Words
in contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of washing
Use synonyms
machine
Check wording
machines
show examples
 slowly
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 and ranks the lowest among all. After 2000, almost all
household
Use synonyms
 has vacuum cleaner and
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
show examples
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 around 70
percentages
Check wording
per cent
show examples
 of them has washing
machine
Use synonyms
. From 1920 to 2019, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a steady decline in the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 people spend on housework. In 1920, people usually spent 50
hours
Use synonyms
 a week doing housework per
household
Use synonyms
, but after
1940
Punctuation problem
1940,
show examples
the time
Check wording
apply
show examples
they
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 significantly less time on it.
This
Linking Words
 sharp decline lasts until
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
show examples
 when people spend around 20
hours
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
household
Use synonyms
 per
household
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 remains almost the same after 1980.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, household, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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