IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Learning
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 has had a considerable impact on
people
Use synonyms
's lives.Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that learning another
language
Use synonyms
 offers numerous
Use synonyms
opportunities
Punctuation problem
opportunities,
show examples
 especially to work or travel abroad.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others argue that exploring another
language
Use synonyms
 has played a key role in gaining knowledge, a perspective I totally agree with. On the one hand,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 widespread migration of
people
Use synonyms
 to foreign countries has increased in recent years;
therefore
Linking Words
, the need to learn foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 has become more important than ever.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 has contributed significantly
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 expanding employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
jobs
Check wording
job
show examples
 interviews
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 will only accept and give
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 multiple
languages
Use synonyms
. Staying in touch with
people
Use synonyms
 from different countries has become easier
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if you learn their
language
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, learning
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 not only offers many
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in working and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 enables
people
Use synonyms
 to gain knowledge and build the confidence to make friends from
the
Change preposition
around the
show examples
 world through social media without having to travel.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, acquiring a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has played a key
in
Check wording
role in
show examples
 broadening the mind by exposing
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 to different cultures and perspectives.
For example
Linking Words
, studying
languages
Use synonyms
 gives chances to explore more about foreign countries and traditions.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can watch movies from different regions without subtitles When they learn new
languages
Use synonyms
In
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 studying
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
 helps
people
Use synonyms
 to broaden
careers
Check wording
career
show examples
opportunities
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 its not the only reason
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 new
language
Use synonyms
 offers multiple benefits to learners

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about work and travel, and you also give your view, but each side needs a little more detail.
task response
Give clearer main ideas in each body part. One main idea with one clear example is better than many short ideas.
task response
Use more specific examples. For example, name one job, one study reason, or one real-life case.
coherence and cohesion
Make linking smoother. Some parts stop and start too fast, so ideas do not flow well.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph unity. Keep one topic in one paragraph and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well: On the one hand, On the other hand, For example, Also, In conclusion.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion clearly in the first part.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some good topic sentences, especially for the two sides of the argument.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: