Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel.Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is often argued that what will be the best way for students to spend their free months before going to
universities
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university
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.
While
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some people believe that
instead
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of travelling , students should gain valuable work experience during the free period .
However
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,
i
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I
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believe it
is
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apply
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totally depends on individuals
wheter
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whether
they want to travel or
utilize
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utilise
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their time doing
employements
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employment
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same idea through the whole essay.
task response
Add more main ideas. Right now, the essay is very short, so your answer is not fully developed.
task response
Use one or two simple examples to support your ideas, such as skills from work or learning from travel.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Use a clear order: introduction, main point 1, main point 2, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'in conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some parts are hard to follow because the grammar and word order are not clear.
task response
You introduce both sides of the topic, which is a good start.
task response
You give your own view at the end of the sentence.
coherence and cohesion
You use 'while' and 'however' to connect ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay stays on the topic and does not go off track.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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