IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that the best method to provide enough accommodation in massive cities is to build tall
apartment
Check wording
apartments
show examples
. I agree that
high rise
Correct your spelling
high-rise
 blocks
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a more effective way than
single storey
Check wording
single-storey blocks
show examples
 because
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 provide benefits for
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 social life and the environment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, tall apartments can enhance
people
Use synonyms
's social skills
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 shared spaces in those buildings play a significant role in allowing individuals to know each other.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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people
Use synonyms
 tend to avoid communicating with others
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can have a negative impact on the quality of life.
Healthy
Correct article usage
A healthy
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 society means that all the community members can ask for help when they need it.
Share
Wrong verb form
Sharing
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 space in tall flats can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to speak to others.
For example
Linking Words
, a gym is considered a shared space where some
people
Use synonyms
 will offer to teach those who
have
Verb problem
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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information about sports.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 will be more sociable and will sharpen their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in communication.
Secondly
Linking Words
, believe it or
not
Punctuation problem
not,
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 tall buildings can have environmental benefits. There is a lack of
spaces
Check wording
space
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 in the cities
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they will cut down trees to provide
place
Check wording
space
show examples
 for regular homes. Not only
it is
Correct word order
is it
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 going to decrease the number of trees
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Linking Words
also it will
Correct word order
it will also
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 lead to boosts the air pollution because
people
Use synonyms
 will use their cars
instead
Linking Words
 of walking.
For instance
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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people
Use synonyms
 live in
tall
Correct article usage
a tall
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apartment
Punctuation problem
apartment,
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 they choose to live near their work so they can walk to save money, which will drop the air pollution .
To sum up
Linking Words
, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I think the best solution for providing
people
Use synonyms
places
Change preposition
with places
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 to live is
high rise
Correct your spelling
high-rise
 blocks because
have
Correct pronoun usage
they have
show examples
 environmental and social benefits.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully and check word order.
task achievement
Add one more clear example or explain your example more.
task achievement
Answer the question in a more full way by showing why other ideas are less good.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You give reasons for your view and stay on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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