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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the best option is to accept a difficult situation, such as having a job they do not enjoy or not having enough money. Others believe it is better to try to make such situations better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Although
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 some people believe that having a stable
life
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 and living in
difficulties
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 are better than facing challenges, others believe that quality of
life
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 requires trying to correct
such
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 circumstances. In my opinion, we should always work to have a sustainable
life
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 and not accept a difficult situation without trying to correct it.
Firstly
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, some individuals look to maintain difficult lives
instead
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 of trying to change the situations. They believe that accepting
this
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 would maintain their security.
For example
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, having a job with low pay is better than looking for other
opportunities
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, and they have several reasons that would justify their beliefs.
For example
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, having family responsibility, they think that retaining their jobs is better than looking for satisfaction, because they are afraid of unemployment and financial insecurity.
This
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 example demonstrates that fair from job uncertainty can shift people toward accepting
difficulties
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 and resisting any changes.
Nevertheless
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, a lot of people do not accept maintaining
difficulties
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 without achieving satisfaction. They often search for
opportunities
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 that enhance them professionally.
For instance
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, they constantly seek better job
opportunities
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 which offer both high financial rewards and professional satisfaction. From their perspective, high financial incomes would maintain their financial obligations, support their families, and maintain a better quality of
life
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.
This
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 case highlight on some of the main reasons that encourage individuals not to accept
difficulties
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 and look for solutions.
To sum up
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, I believe that we should always search for
opportunities
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 to enhance our lives and maintain enjoying a better standard of living.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You show both views, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give clearer reasons for your opinion in the body, not only in the end.
task response
Use more direct examples. Your job example is good, but it needs more detail to feel real and strong.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easier to follow. Start each body paragraph with one clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences repeat the same idea, so the flow is not always smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one full explanation and one clear example.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The main topic stays on the question, especially jobs and money.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accept
  • difficult
  • situation
  • job
  • money
  • option
  • view
  • discuss
  • own
  • opinion
  • better
  • improve
  • change
  • plan
  • goal
  • effort
  • risk
  • skill
  • learn
  • life
  • work
  • future
  • save
  • decide
  • problem
  • help
  • step
  • stay
  • move
  • balance
  • decision
  • support
  • hope
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