IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community suggest an award that would be appropriate for this person

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Dear Sir or Madam My name is Alex.
i
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I
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 am one of your customers. In
this
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 letter i would like to inform someone who deserves to accept an award because he has helped on community. actually
according to
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 me, there were many people that have exceptional attitude and knowledge. They
also
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 really contribute to develop a organization in society.
however
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 i thought there was a member of the community who used to sufficient helping inside plenty of daily activities that committed to another group . He was my friend. His name is John.
i
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I
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 think the award
that is
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 appropriate is the best leader because he has
also
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 ever reached diversity recognize at other country. he was create a books about his profile and experience , so he was really an inspiration in the community. He has a harmonious family and a remarkable reputation throughout his career. Thank you for giving the matter your attention. I hope to hear your reply soon. Your faithfully Paul

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task response
Score: 5. Answer all three parts in a clear way. Say what John does, where he helps, and how this helps people. Do not write about his family or his work in other countries unless it shows community help.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 4. Use three short body parts: 1) say who John is, 2) say what he does to help, 3) say why he should get the award. Keep one main idea in each part. Use simple links such as 'First', 'Also', 'For this reason', and 'Therefore'.
task response
Use a more formal opening. Write 'I am writing to suggest John for this award.' Do not say you are a customer, as it is not needed.
coherence and cohesion
Use 'Yours faithfully' at the end, not 'Your faithfully'.
task response
You name John and say he helps the community. You also give an award idea: Best Leader.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start and end. The closing is polite.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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