Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
supermarkets
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are important
but
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, but
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nowadays small shops are even better in saving time
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. It
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while
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it is commonly held
belief
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apply
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that
supermarkets
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has
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have
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the most things
like
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, like
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medicine stuffs not just food or drinks
there
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. There
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is
also
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an argument that small groceries
sells
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sell
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daily things
which
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, which
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makes it
incredably
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incredibly
easier to find your item.
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this
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This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand,
supermarkets
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can
provides
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provide
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clothes, blankets, tables and
knifes
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knives
.
In other words
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,
while
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supermarkets
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is
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are
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a big place
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, so
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so
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there are also
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also
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there are shops inside
like
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, like
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dunkin donnat
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Dunkin' Doughnuts
and
crumbl cookies
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Crumbl Cookies
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and because of that
people
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, people
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usually
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are usually
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interest
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interested
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in
supermarkets
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.
In addition
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,
If
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if
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supermarkets
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was
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were
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empty inside
it
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, it
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would be boring with no sense.
For example
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, people would choose productivity over
than
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apply
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size when it
is
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apply
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costs time to find the products.
On the other hand
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, small shops increased
more customers
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their customer base
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in the
last
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few years because it includes their daily stuffs in a small place. It is
also
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possible to say that local
markets
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enhance the idea of
the
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apply
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speed generation with high efficiency.
Moreover
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,
Only
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only
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by local
markets
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i
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apply
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can get local items.
For instance
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, Once i arrived
to
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at
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the supermarket could not find what
i want
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I wanted
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,
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.
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After that i tried to go to a small shop and
i
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I
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got what
i
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I
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needed, For what happend i changed my view on local
markets
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and trusted them even more. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that the new styles of small
markets
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is
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are
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the newest way to shop.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if this change is good or bad for development.
task response
Keep your main idea the same from start to end. Now your view changes and this makes your answer less clear.
task response
Give fuller reasons for each side. Some ideas are short or not fully explained.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. Your story about your shopping helps, but it needs a clearer link to the main question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part shape: intro, 2 body parts, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences are hard to follow because the grammar and word choice are not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
You discussed both supermarkets and small shops, so you tried to answer all parts of the task.
task response
You gave your opinion in the end.
task response
You used an example from real life, and that makes your writing more personal.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like On one hand, On the other hand, Moreover, and In conclusion.
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