Some students take a year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to work or to travel. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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Nowdays
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Nowadays
,
students
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take a
gap
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year
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after completing their school studies and registering themselves in university in order to work
on
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in
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different fields or to explore the world. From my perspective, taking
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gap
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a gap
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in school and university,
this
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will come up with more demerits than merits. To commence
up
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apply
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with benefits,
students
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travelled to different parts of the world in
tend
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order
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to explore culture and their living lifestyle. The reason is that
,
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apply
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this
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may help them
the understanding of
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understand
cultures and norms.
Firstly
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, they can work in stores or in warehouses in order to earn money and support their families.
Secondly
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,
this
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will enhance their personal growth and
real life
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real-life
experiences. They can learn foreign languages that
helps
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help
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them
in surviving
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survive
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in the country.
For example
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,
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gap
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a gap
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year
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beneficial
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is beneficial
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students
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for students
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to calm and relax from academic pressure.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks that must be
worth considering
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considered
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. When
students
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used to earn money,
this
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become
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became
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difficult for them to return to studies.
However
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, cutting themselves
from
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off from
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academic knowledge for 12 monts losses their interest.
Moreover
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,
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gap
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a gap
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year
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effect
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affects
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their academic progress badly as compared to their peers. Notably, leaving studies for work and travel badly
effected
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affected
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the society and families.
Lastly
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,
To sum up
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,
although
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there are some advantages and disadvantages of taking a
gap
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year
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between school and university. I
peresonally
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personally
believe that the pros are more significant.

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task response
Answer the question in one clear way and keep the same view from start to end.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are too short or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Finish all sentences and avoid sudden stops, like the last point in body paragraph two.
task response
You give both sides of the topic before your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like firstly, secondly, moreover, and lastly.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Real-world experience
  • Personal growth
  • Enhanced employability
  • Academic pressures
  • Maturity
  • Academic momentum
  • Financial implications
  • Out of sync
  • Lack of structure
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