IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. What can be done about this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays ,
people
Use synonyms
 discuss the issue
of
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 many
human
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 around the world feel hungry .
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that we should
make
Verb problem
take
show examples
 a step to help those poor
people
Use synonyms
 .
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 argue
Punctuation problem
, wondring
show examples
wondring whats
Correct your spelling
wondering what
 the main reason
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 those poor human for not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 to eat .
This
Linking Words
easy
Check wording
essay
show examples
 will explain
Use synonyms
way
Use the right word
why
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 can not afford
food
Use synonyms
 , and
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will give my opinion when needed . First of all ,
one
Use synonyms
 important point is that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many reason
way
Use synonyms
 some
people
Use synonyms
 are still suffering from
hunger
Use synonyms
 .
In other words
Linking Words
 , there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many sources
lead
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , having no job is
one
Use synonyms
 of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 they can not afford money . As a
reasult
Correct your spelling
result
, if
people
Use synonyms
 did not
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
 they would not have salery , and if they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have a salery they can not
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
food
Use synonyms
 and important things .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
job
Check wording
jobs
show examples
 is a big and serious
problem
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , another important point is that rich
people
Use synonyms
 should
halp
Correct your spelling
help
 those who suffer from
hunger
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 that rich
people
Use synonyms
 should donate money , clothes , and
food
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 needy
people
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
 , if
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
 donete for hungry and poor humans , as a
reasult
Correct your spelling
result
, no
one
Use synonyms
 will suffer from
hunger
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 helping others is
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 to protect other
people
Use synonyms
 from suffering from
hurable
Correct your spelling
unbearable
 problems . In conclusion , after considering the main points ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
thats
Correct your spelling
that
hunger
Use synonyms
 problems
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a serious
problem
Use synonyms
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nowadays .
Although
Linking Words
 lack of job is
one
Use synonyms
 of the main reasons
Use synonyms
way
Use the right word
why
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from
hunger
Use synonyms
 ,
donate
Wrong verb form
donating
show examples
 is a good solution for
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 and it is important for helping poor humans .
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
 should help
needy
Correct article usage
the needy
show examples
 and hungry humans

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task response
Answer all parts more clearly. Say why people are hungry and what can be done.
task response
Add more clear ideas and explain them more. Some ideas are too short.
task response
Use more real and specific examples, not only general ones.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea and support it step by step.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like first, also, because, so, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main ideas are easy to see.
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