IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other people's cultures. We can learn just as much from books, movies and the internet. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

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Peopl
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People
 think that moving to other regions to study about the
native's
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native
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culture
Use synonyms
 is insignificant
while
Linking Words
 they place value on obtaining
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 information from
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 and books. I believe that travelling to learn about
people
Use synonyms
's way of life remains the best
due to
Linking Words
 the opportunity it creates to see these things
first hand
Correct your spelling
first-hand
, understanding and impact and
also
Linking Words
 about the
development
Use synonyms
 it brings to the area.
First,
Linking Words
culture
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 is the
people
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's way of life and moving to the region where it is
practiced
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practised
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 gives the room to learn directly from the
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 improves understanding, creates lasting memory, and influences character .
For example
Linking Words
, moving from the west to the south of England to learn about the
culture
Use synonyms
 of tea making for breakfast, made me resonate with the importance of tea,
its
Correct word choice
and its
show examples
 weight loss effect.
Practicing
Change the spelling
Practising
show examples
this
Linking Words
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis has helped curtail my hunger
panks
Correct your spelling
pangs
 and improved my weight loss habit.
Secondly
Linking Words
, travelling to learn new cultures in a
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region
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 improves the tourism of the area, which in turn improves the gross domestic product and
overall
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 pay money to visit
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 tourist site. Capital generated from these could be
channeled
Change the spelling
channelled
show examples
 to infrastructural
development
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. To summarise, learning about
people
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's practice of life can be done through papers and technology
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the importance of travelling to these places to learn directly from the
people
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 and the
development
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 it brings to the region remains top-tier. I will always recommend travelling for
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 purpose of
people
Use synonyms
's
culture
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. One main point, then explain it, then give one clear example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way, like first, also, for example, and in short.
task achievement
Your answer gives a clear opinion, but you need to compare books, movies, and the internet more directly with travel.
task achievement
Some ideas are good, but a few are not fully developed. Explain how and why more clearly.
task achievement
Your example is personal, but it does not strongly show culture. Use an example that is closer to customs, food, art, language, or daily life.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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