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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in five European countries, from 2000 to 2012.

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The line graph outlines the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of women members of parliament in five European countries (
Germany
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, Italy, France,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Belgium
Correct word choice
and Belgium
show examples
), between 2000 and 2012.Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figure for
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had dramatically increased and had the same
proportion
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with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 Belgium
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in 2012.The
proportion
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 of
Germany
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remain
Wrong verb form
has remained
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 constant and
saved
Verb problem
has saved
show examples
 the same
proportion
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 since the beginning of
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
. Looking at the details, the figure for
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was 5% in 2000,
while
Linking Words
increased
Correct pronoun usage
it increased
show examples
 reaching 30% in 2012. Regarding Belgium,
this
Linking Words
 country had more female members than in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2012.The percentages in 2012 became similar, accounting for 30%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of females in
Germany
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 had
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 for
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
show examples
, accounting for the same
proportion
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 in 2000 and 2012.The figure for
Germany
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 was about 35% in 2000.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, germany, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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