IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate only locally produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

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the
Capitalize the word
The
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food
Use synonyms
 travels thousands of miles from farm to customer . Many people believe it would be better
to
Change preposition
for
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 our
economy
Use synonyms
 and environment if individuals ate only local
food
Use synonyms
 .
While
Linking Words
 others prefer the
food
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 outside the
country
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 . In my view , I believe that the advantages
outwigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages because it is better to
Use synonyms
rise
Verb problem
raise
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 the
economy
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 . On the one hand , the benefit of
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
 locally
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food
Correct word choice
grown food
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 is that cheaper , and easy to get from any supermarket in your
country
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 .
For example
Linking Words
 , my
country
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 famus with mango , so it is easy to find it in any supermarket you
well
Rephrase
apply
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go
.
Change preposition
to.
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In addition
Linking Words
 , the price is
cheaper
Correct word choice
lower
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 than buying
a globally products of
Correct word order
food products globally
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food
Use synonyms
 .
Also
Linking Words
 , it is the best for out environmet and
economy
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 .
For example
Linking Words
 , if people started to
paurches
Wrong verb form
purchase
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 only local
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food
Punctuation problem
food,
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 that
well
Verb problem
would
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 help our
economy
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 to increase .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
may be relies
Wrong verb form
maybe relying
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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locally produce only not enough to
rise
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 the
economy
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 in the
country
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 , so some countries start to
sales
Wrong verb form
sell
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 the local
food
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 countries
surround
Wrong verb form
surrounding
show examples
 us .
For example
Linking Words
 , that
well
Use the right word
will
show examples
 help our
economy
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 to increase significantly . In conclusion , buying local
food
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a lot of benefits for the
Use synonyms
country's
Check wording
country
show examples
. But it is not enough to
Use synonyms
rise
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 the
economy
Use synonyms
 of the
country
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 . In my opinion , I think the advantages
outwigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages . That
because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
saling
Correct your spelling
selling
 the local
food
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 can helps
rise
Use synonyms
 the
economy
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 , so the
country
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 will climb the farm areas .

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task response
Score: 5. You answer the main question, but your view is not fully clear. At first, you say local food is better. Later, you say local food is not enough and talk about selling food to other countries. Say clearly if you mean people should eat only local food, or if trade with other countries should still happen.
task response
Talk about both sides in more detail. Good points may be less travel, less air waste, fresh food, and more work for local farms. Bad points may be less choice, higher cost in some places, and problems when local farms cannot grow enough food.
task response
Your ideas about the environment are too short. You say local food is best for the environment, but you do not say why. Explain that less travel can mean less fuel use and less bad air.
task response
Use examples that fit the exact question. Selling local food to other countries may help the economy, but it does not support the idea of eating only local food.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put one main idea in each body part. For example, body 1 can explain the good points of local food. Body 2 can explain the bad points and why the good points are still stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not connect well. The last body part says local food may not help the economy, but then says selling it to other countries helps. This makes your main view hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show your reason: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For this reason”, and “As a result”. Do not use many links if the ideas are not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Make your end match your start. State your answer again in one clear line, then give the two main reasons.
task response
You give a clear view: local food has more good points than bad points.
task response
You use examples about mangoes and selling local food to other countries.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “On the one hand”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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